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Get it off your chest, pluck it from her breast! at IDKE

December 13, 2010

The doctor’s hair! à

My hairs! à

When I was in highschool, & was bragging about a bruise I got playing lacrosse. The bruise was on my breast. A guy friend of mine resonding with:” the two most disgusting things a woman can have on her breast are brusies and hair.” I kinda freaked out inside. I was ashamed and scared that my body had betrayed me. The hair around my nipples was growing thicker and thickers.

A long long time passed and I graduated from college. I went to a women’s conference at Twin Oaks. There were so many naked women with all types of nipple hair, stomach hair, and chest hair. I wasn’t the hairiest one anymore. When I feel uncomfortable wbout my body hair, I remind myself of twin oaks and llt he hairy women  there! ❤ h

Two and a half years sober and feeling sooooo much. Feeling my fears and my heart and stepping into leadership & power. And Self love. ❤ xoxoxoxoxo

Being in my body means being in my power. Quitting shaving helped me stay away from sharp objects on my skin. Now I’m a hard-core pit pig and am grateful to be in safer, genderqueer spaces because I can be myself and rock a mic and a stage and embody a genderlessness that isn’t always accessible to me anywhere else. Thanks for reminding me of who I am and how important this work is for us.

Before having my child I was very skinny and fit. I gained a lot of weight in pregnancy. I also later developed fibromayalgia. I’s also always been envious of the more fit members of my <drag king> troup for being able to go shirtless in numbers thinking I couldn’t do that because of my size. Their confidence of me allowed me to finally be able to try it myself and I found acceptance and now have a better body image. M. Dizzi


I too have hairs I struggle to love. I have hair on my chest. I have hair pretty much everywhere else as well, but it’s the chest hair that seems to symbolize my “excess hairgrowth.” Having beautifuuly smooth cleavage has been a center point of feminine sexyness for me, and when I discovered my chest hair I was crushed. For a long time I only wore high necked shirts and scarves. BuTooààà…Now I am learning to flaunt my chest hair!

I have been seeing two doctors at once, like an affair, I am doing it to both of them. I tell certain things to one and not the other. One knows I am gay and the other does not. All those years of feeling powerless at the doctors has had it’s toll. Krisitin

When I first came out my first girlfriend and I were making out and she said “what’s wrong with your tongue?” I knew I had a tongue that was tied but had always though it was cool. I would even look at it in mirrors and do tricks with it. After my first girlfriend commented in my tongue I becasme really insecure for about 15 years about kissing. It was only a year ago that I met someone and she and I have been kissing ever since. I love kissing now! J

I have a rare intersex condition and have never liked Dr.’s Dr.’s always want to poke, prod, and treat my like a science experiement. I have a form of tetragameic chimerism and have chromosomal and physical intersex characteristics. My body is physically a merge of male and female. I don’t identify as wither male or female, but I did choose to have a masctomy. I had a lot of complications and revisions. I have no sensation in my nipple, nut after having the surgery, I started to grow many fine hairs out of my nipples. I am unigue! ❤

So ok, let’s talk  about hair & shame. I recently made a video for dan savage’s “It Gets Better” project, a lot of peeps <3’d the video, and left literally 100’s of sweet messages. But the one I remember word for word says, “who’s the old guy in the wig and what has he done with Kate Bornstein.” Ah, well. Bullies stay, we get better at dealing with them and we #stay alive. ❤ Kate

Most of my life I’ve dealt with “grandma” hairs. Dark hairs under my chin that have bugged me. I’ve gone thr plucking and want to try waxing. It’s something that’s on my mind constantly. I’m always afraid people see them or are aware of them and in my mind are so much more appartent that they really are. MCH

  • I’ve been feeling isolated and alone
  • I remember that other people can feel the same way
  • I tried to keep this in mind + reach out to other people to heal myself and to help other people

A single hair no more

I’ve always had a hate/hate relationship with my huge tits. All the women I have been with intimately have loved them. When I first started telling ppl how much I look forward to top surgery as a FTM so many woman have said, “ but what about your awesome boobs?” I worry that the people who are attracted to me now will not be attracted to me when I complete my transition.

Hairy Nipples and a Big Clit

What ever the case, embrace.

When I was 15 my boyfriend Michael broke up with me becsaue I was “too fat.” And I quote “I really do love you, but you’re not hot; you’re fat.”

10 years later, I’m a bear. And happy.

Fuck you Michael.

Hmmm… this project reminds me of the part in the story concerning my body and my feet,a nd the hypersexualization of black males… relating to the part of my story (there were many parts, LOL, but this speaks most directly, IMO)… there is another conception/mysoncecption that I did not understand. For the longest time, once I had learned that males have their own lubricant and realized that I am one of the few men who have no pre-ejaculartoy fluid. I spent quite some time worried about different partners and their opions on what my “condition” was. once I met the right person, she helped me understand that we are all different in many ways, and that is the true nature of beauty and aesticitics.

My shame about my body is layered with shame about being ashamed. I catch myself being mad at myself for being ‘fat” because I have a small belly- and then I automatically get even angrier at myself for having those feelings. I love fat on other people’s bodies but am critical of it on myself (and crittica of being crititical, of being crititical, or bring crititical…)


August 9, 2010

Thank you for sharing your story! It was great to hear how often (you) felt different from the Norm. As a man attracted to other men who are mostly unlike me (asian, age, facial hair), I had to transcend the more standard notions of beauty in the gay community.


Tonight I was embarrassed to leave the house for Open Space tonight because of the long hair growing out of the top of my ears – so I shaved it off – and now I feel worse because I shouldn’t be ashamed of my “werewolf” ears! Actually I don’t feel worse I feel better THANKS


i have very sensitive skin. In this day and age I feel that with intimate partners it is an issue to have pubic hair or not have pubic hair. i often feel uncomfortable about my hair “down there” because to be hairless is not an option with my skin sensitivity


August 9, 2010

Doctor Sara,

Thank you, what an awesome experience. My name is Xander and the story I shared with you was of my beautiful, sensual, textured stretch marks that have found on my belly when I was younger, when they first appeared, I was ashamed of them. As I grew an ____ and touched my body. I grew to not only love them but appreciate and honor them. Thank you for sharing

Year of the Tiger

I think that this project is a total fucking whack job but it was intriguing & fun at the same time. Dr. Sarah you would make a great Dr- a terrific bedside manner – you are a great & powerful spirits – keep your creativity out there & God bless. Michiliane 1.16.10

When I was in fifth grade I played basketball. I was a nerd and a jock which was forbidden! One could not be smart and an athlete! So the girls on my team decided to pull my pants down during practice. This exposed my young and hairy bush! I was so ashamed. I did not want to be further tortured by these assholes.

August 9, 2010

August 9, 2010

On my first trip to NYC with my family. I was forced to endure ‘CATS; the musical. I was a teenager just getting used to using tampons. At intermission, I went to the Ladies’ room to change, and midway I couldn’t remember if I had discarded the old one yet. I didn’t see a string, so I proceeded and much to my horror, felt the pressure of 2 in at once. I quickly pulled out both and ran.

Plucking this hair reminded me of the continuous process I experience for 24 years, constantly trying to get rid of my facial hair. A few wisps appeared in 1985, the result of 2 back-to-back pregnancies. Hormones exploded and 6 dark hairs sprouted on my smooth chin like delicate fronds. I plucked them out, they came back with companions. I kept repeating my folly, soon I had an entire beard. OMG. Then I had it waxed- it smarked and I had to let it grow back LONG enough for the cosmetics to apply way for it and the Horrible! I kept looking downward to conceal it. That didn’t work. FINALLY! I had electrolysis and the hairs were KILLED. I wish someone had told me how really easy it was to get rid of them 25 years later, the final solution! 🙂 D.

When I was in high school I was so self-conscious about my acne that I wouldn’t go anywhere without makeup covering my zits. Late one night I cut myself and took the time to put on concealer before my mom took me to the emergency room.

August 9, 2010

I often forget about my body hair unless other people remind me of it. Sometimes a friend will notice a chin hair or two getting a bit unruly and so I let them pluck it. People seem to like plucking other people random hairs. This is quite all right. If they feel such a strong urge let them puck it! Go ahead be my guest. The nipple hair that I just plucked was one of the few times I have plucked a hair. Thank you for the opportunity.

When I was just hitting puberty (12 or 13 yrs) I had a friend sleepover my house. I was an only child but I had 2 beds in my room- one for me and my friend slept in the other. I was starting to grow a few pubic hairs + wanted to know if she was as well but I was very embarrassed to ask. SO … I wrote a tiny note on a small piece of paper, and folded it up as much as I possibly could, smaller + smaller until it was the size of a dime, and passed it to my friend. The note read, “do you have hair?” really tiny though more like: DO YOU HAVE HAIR?   My friend read the note wrote her response, folded up the piece of paper once again and gave it back to me. The note said this: YES !! 🙂

Jai Brooks

I guess my story involves gender and hair only figures in peripherally as my rather hairless body makes it so. My story was more of a couple of statement. 1. “I feel like I should have been born a man so my body always feels somewhat other.” 2. “When I’m strapped- I feel like myself but I was I had something more to give women so they know that it really is ME inside of them and that the deepest intimacy is possible.”

Photos from the Pedestrian Services Exquisite

July 17, 2010