I used to bleach my leg hair in high school b/c I thought I shouldn’t shave (proto-feminist) but I wanted to be able to look like I did, sometimes.
tm
4.18.10
Growing up I was never comfortable with my gender. I was never happy being a “boy” and always felt never fully recognized. As I grew up and into my queer identity, I found outlets to be seen more as a female boy, and I found a series of people who, mostly without my prompting, were able to see that part of me. I still feel dysphoria around both my ___ and my gender, but less so in the gut places and among the right people. I’ve also always been overweight and have always had a great shame around being fat. I to this day have a lot of share around my body weight/size. This is all the more potent in the queer community, where all of the work around size has been either in the gay male bear community or in the queer women community. I have never been gay male identified and I’ve struggled to be accepted in queer women circle. In the gender queer/trans (specifically ftm) circle in which I travel, and among whom I find my lovers, the ideal “boy” body type is super skinny/hipster, and I am not that body. Among the people I find attractive, most are idealizing a body-type for boys that I do not have. This is a struggle to this day.
Thanks, Dr. Sarah, for the work you are doing around body issues, gender, & sexuality. I really appreciate you and am glad to have gotten to know you.
Best,
D
“I WENT TO THE BATHROOM,
TOOK A CRAP, IN THE
DEAD SEA, WHICH IS
VERY SALTY, SO THE
RESULT FLOATED RIGHT
PAST MY NOSE!!!”
WHILE My small children watched……
Carl Schoettler
I am in constant excruciating pain and have to wear a shoulder brace at all times. People ask questions & it’s a long story that I’ve told over & over. It’s not an interesting story – I had shoulder surgery that went wrong. Everywhere I go I either get stared @ or people quickly smiles of heads. I get I don’t want sympathy; but my problem them. I wish I was invisible.
A.B.
ONE TIME I SHAT MYSELF AT MY JOB AT MICHAEL’S ARTS AND CRAFTS. I DID IT IN FRONT OF A LADY WHO WAS ASKING ME FOR GLUE.
I have constant pain all the time in my back I used to have to walk around with a cane and a walker. It was embarrassing especially because of my young age (21). Using a “crutch” labels you as a cripple or there is something wrong w/ you. Now I no longer use a cane but am still in excruciating pain – which cannot be seen by others. I try to hide the pain but sometimes cannot & people don’t know what’s wrong w/ me. Apparently neither do any doctors. so for now stuck w/ this…
Peace
CH
